The Illinois Loop website is no longer updated on a a regular basis. However, since many of the links and articles have content and perspectives that are just as valid today, we are keeping this website online for parents, teachers and others researching school issues and solutions.

Broken links:If you encounter links that no longer lead to the desired article, it's still often possible to retrieve them. Most of the linked items include a sentence or more from the original. Copy a section of that text, and type it into Google surrounded by quotes. More often than not, Google will find the article at a revised location.

-- Kevin C. Killion, writer, editor and webmaster

Humor

"Scary Postings": Real teachers (and some ed school students), who want to teach real students ... Here are some scary postings on online education discussion groups, newsgroups and teacher forums (with some comments added).
If you have the misfortune to have to go to a typical school presentation laden with progressivist edu-speak, well, now you and a friend can now pass the time with these handy EDUCRAT BINGO cards (in PDF format). Decide your game beforehand, such as simple five-in-a-row for a "brown bag" lunch, all the way to a coverall for a full-day in-service. Cover a square when you hear the matching catch-phrase spoken by the presenter. Good luck!
Educational Jargon Generator:
"This fine academic tool was designed to assist in the writing of reports, grant applications, and other documents related to public schools. I believe that it will be particularly useful for people involved in writing reports for WASC accreditation. Amaze your colleagues with finely crafted phrases of educational nonsense!"
If The World Were Like the Public Education System by Kevin Killion. What if our current system for public education served as a model to re-design our food stores? Our highway system? Computers? Soccer leagues? Car delearships? Find out here!
Scoring Rubrics for Portfolio Assessment by by Martin Kozloff
Teachers' Union Honors MTV (satire, from the Houston Review)
Weapons of Math Destruction: Cartoons about fuzzy math!
Mel Levine Meets the Fadbusters
Here is Schaumburg cartoonist Mark Anderson's web page of education and teacher cartoons. Funny stuff, Mark!
A Randy Glasbergen cartoon that is a terrific commentary on using computers for school projects. See the cartoonist's website for more information and for reprint rates.
From the daily Non Sequitur comic for June 24, 2002, here's what happens when two kids discover the printed page.
For a worse-case scenario of spell-check dependency, see "The Spell-Checked Poem"
Articles from The Onion:
- Parents of Nasal Learners Demand Odor-Based Curriculum
- Report: Our High Schools May Not Adequately Prepare Dropouts For Unemployment
- Cases Of Glitter Lung On The Rise Among Elementary-School Art Teachers
- More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With YTD, Youthful Tendency Disorder
- Teen Drug Use Traced To Ineffective PSAs
- Oakland Teacher Mistakenly Teaches 'Economics': "School superintendent Melvin Washington was outraged upon learning of Byrne's actions, saying, 'The voodoo she was teaching involved numbers and complex calculations, which no high-school student can reasonably be expected to understand."
- Ritalin Cures Next Picasso
- Educational Puppet Pelted With Crayons
- Klingon Speakers Now Outnumber Navajo Speakers
- TV Helps Build Valuable Looking Skills
- School 'Fine,' U.S. Teens Report
- Something Weird Going On In That Montessori School, Neighbor Reports
- Diversity Celebrated With Compulsory Luncheon
- Hilarious Hamlet Essay Circulated In Teachers' Lounge
- Third-Grader Awaits Lesson For Cursive G
- Revolutionary New Insoles Combine Five Forms Of Pseudoscience
- Rules Grammar Change: English Traditional Replaced To Be New Syntax With
- Some Dork Brought In To Address Civics Class
- Report: U.S. Students Lead World In TV Jingle Recall
- Teen Mortified After Winning Academic-Achievement Award: "'Now the whole school is going to think I'm the biggest geek,' Ganser told best friend and classmate Lacey Richards, who has a socially acceptable B-minus average. 'I'm not that smart. It's just that my classes were really easy this year."
- EPA: Recycling Eliminated More Than 50 Million Tons Of Guilt In '96
- Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act
- Report: National Content Now Over 85 Percent Filler
Onion News Network:
Articles from SatireWire:
- High School Students Demand Wars In Easier-To-Find Countries - "'How Come No One Fights in Big Famous Nations Anymore?' They Ask"
- Educators Fight To Protect Self-Esteem Of Goofy, Loser Kids
- Review Names Top 10 Party Preschools - "Preparing for College Needs to Start Early, Say Publishers"
Sadly, this is REAL, not fictional, but it's priceless! What happens when a new graduate sits down to write a letter seeking employment? Bob Killian of Killian Advertising (no relation to the editor here) collects some of the worst he's received, at Cover Letters From Hell. Read 'em and weep!