Education Buzzwords: Image and Reality

Note: For a more serious and detailed look at the phrases used by the education industry, go to this section of this website: Learning the Lingo.


Education Buzzwords: Image and Reality
by Kevin Killion

The late Kingman Brewster, president of Yale University, once said, "Incomprehensible jargon is the hallmark of a profession." We laugh at bizarre excesses, such as "kinetic wellness" to mean "gym class" (true example!) but jargon has a darker implication: buzzwords can be well-chosen to mask a truth that the uninitiated may find distasteful. Here is a quick guide (with a healthy dose of dry humor) of some of the wonderful-sounding phrases used in schools.



Education Buzzwords
Buzzwords	What Parents THINK It Means	What It REALLY Means	More Info
Research has shown	It's proven	Other people say so, too	click
Child-centered	Your child is of greatest concern	Your child does what he wants to do
Age appropriate	Challenged to take the next step further	Comfortable with current level	click
Expanding horizons	Your child will be exposed to familiar things first	Your child will be a teenager before learning any real history	click
Balanced reading	Balanced reading	Whole language	click
Emergent Literacy	Teaching a child to read	Watching a child guess at words
No memorization	No boring stuff	We don't teach facts
Critical thinking	Reflection based on understanding of facts and their relationships	Make up opinions out of thin air	click
Higher-order thinking	Thinking	Lost in the fog	click
Brain-based learning	Science teaches a lot about learning	I believe in feng shui, too	click
Authentic assessment	A true measure of a child	Subjective, touchie-feelie measures of vaguely-defined goals	click
Portfolio assessment	What a nice, fat folder!	None of these projects look like much alone, but lumped together ...	Click here or here
Facts are soon outdated...	...so we have to keep up	...so why bother teaching any of them	click
Multiple intelligences	Every child has unique skills	No one has to learn anything specific	click
Discovery learning	It's fun to learn	Kids will spend a week learning what lively, engaged instruction could teach in a day	click
School shouldn't be "a mile wide and an inch deep"	Greater depth	Narrower range	click
Lifelong learning	Children get in the habit of learning new things	They won't learn much around here, so we'll show them how to look it up later	click
We don't "teach to the test"	No drills just for the sake of passing some test	We don't like being told what to cover in class	click
hands-on	thorough, personalized learning	yet another fun project instead of having to learn anything	click
relevant	meaningful	obsessively self-absorbed	click
teach the child, not the subject	teach the child	what was the subject again?
collaborative projects	build social skills	learn how to run in packs and let someone else do the work
technology	learning about computers	an expensive way to have even more projects	click
Block Scheduling	More time for thorough learning	There's no way I can teach for 90 minutes straight, so let's make another collage today and watch a movie tomorrow	click
A federal "Blue Ribbon" school	A great place to learn	Observes all the trendiest theories	click
A degree in Education	A person of great learning	Shows high tolerance for mindless ed school drivel	click
Education theorist	Thinks deeply about education issues	Able to spout opinions without any supporting data	click
Education researchers	People who analyze data about what actually works	People who summarize the views of the theorists	click
School Board	Voice of the people	Pass the Kool-Aid, please	click



For a more serious and detailed look at the phrases used by the education industry, go to this section of this website: Learning the Lingo.